Intricately intertwined with the story of Christ’s birth is the story of marriage. In last year’s edition of our Christmas post, we focused on how God strategically used marriage to protect both Mary and his salvific plan, pointing to how marriage is meant to protect and preserve the lives of those in it. In this edition, we’re taking a look at how the story of Jesus’ birth shines a light on dealing with difficult decisions in marriage.
“This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” Matthew 1:18-21
Joseph’s role in the birth of Jesus is often overlooked even though God had strategically placed Joseph in marriage with Mary in order to secure the miraculous birth of His Son. Joseph was however contemplating removing himself from this position. He was considering divorcing Mary and rightly so – she was pregnant with a child that was not his. He had every right to do as the Law prescribes: take her to the city gate and have her stoned to death as an adulterer (Deuteronomy 22: 22-24; John 8:3-5). But because he was righteous, he didn’t want to expose her to such public disgrace and danger, he would divorce her quietly instead.
Though righteous, Joseph sought to leave his marriage, probably out of feeling deeply disappointed. His plans for his life with his new wife were now completely foiled. What was worse is that the story didn’t even add up. I’m almost certain that he held doubt about Mary’s story. We must remember that it had been a long time since Israel last heard from God. It was roughly four hundred years since God last spoke to Israel through his prophet Malachi. In seasons of God’s silence, it’s common for visions to be scarce (see 1 Samuel 3:1). To claim that God spoke to her through an angel and she was now pregnant as a result would have been extremely difficult to believe. Also, we must remember the culture at the time. Women were not considered credible witnesses so whatever they said could not be trusted. It was hard enough to believe that God had spoken, even harder that he had spoken to a woman.
Although his reasons for walking away from his marriage were justifiable, God prevented him from going ahead with the divorce. God revealed to him what was hidden from his sight and verified the source of this pregnancy. He put Joseph at ease, eliminating the fear he had about continuing with a marriage to a woman who would bear a child that wasn’t his. He settled his concerns about raising a son that wasn’t his by assuring him that it wasn’t just another man’s son, it was God’s son. By remaining in his marriage, Joseph would play an integral role in God’s plan for humanity.
“All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” – which means, “God with us.” When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.” Matthew 1:22-24
Have you ever wondered what would have been had Joseph held on to his disappointment and disbelief and so disobeyed God? Everybody would have supported him, sure. Nobody would have questioned him, but by failing to trust God’s speaking he would have missed out on something so great. He would have missed out on participating in God fulfilling prophesies and promises made of old. He would have missed the chance to witness and usher God’s coming to His own.
The first Christmas teaches us that some of the difficult decisions that need to be made in marriage can’t be made alone. God’s insight and direction is imperative because things are not always as they seem. We see what our eyes perceive, but God sees what we don’t. We know what we know based on yesterday’s experience and today emotion, but God knows what is to come, He knows the end from the beginning. When he gives guidance to our decisions, we can make decisions that are not based on fear, but that are inline with His plan which is always better than anything we can plan for ourselves.
So, as we celebrate our Saviors’ birth, let us consider our need for God in marriage. Let us prayerfully renew our dependency on Him so that God can reveal what is unseen to us, helping us make decisions that will allow His promises to be fulfilled in our lives.
Knotted by Gusquare 